Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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