What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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