margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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