Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
