and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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