sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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