You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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