I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
