I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
