the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
