He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
