I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
