Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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