I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize