Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
