I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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