Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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