For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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