soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
