Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
