Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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