well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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