yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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