your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
