I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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