so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better