If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.