if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
