Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
