You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
