I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Pooping to opera.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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