Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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