the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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