i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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