dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
