butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wear drunk well.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
