If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sorry about my life...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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