im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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