Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
