It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
