I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
