So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
