One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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