that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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