this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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