I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
