I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
