so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
