There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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