@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
