Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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