dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize