i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
