If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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