after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
