I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
