i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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