You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
