You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
