Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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