i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
