I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
