he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
