Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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