I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
