Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
