i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
