I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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